Episode 183: Rejection (and how to bounce back)

“My boss pulled me aside and said, ‘so we’re really struggling and we’ve decided to eliminate your position effective immediately. So you need to pack up your desk and go.’”

— Amy Campbell Bogie

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

“I think women are socialized to please, to get approval, and rejection is the opposite of that. You know, we’re not getting approval.”

— Jessica Bacal

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Rejection plays a part in everyone's work experience. It certainly has in mine. No one likes getting rejected - but is it harder on women?

Jessica bacal

In this show I speak to Jessica Bacal, author of The Rejection that Changed My Life, about the sting of rejection and what we can learn from it. We also meet nonprofit leader Amy Campbell Bogie. She talks about two searing rejections she went through, and how to emerge gracefully from what can feel like a slap in the face.

Jess spoke to 25 women for her book, each of whom learned something useful from their rejections. That’s not to say that rejection always has a silver lining - or if it does, it might be hidden. Rejection feels awful. But even when I look back to my most painful work rejection, it still taught me something, even if it was something I didn’t want to hear.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: Thanks to Jess Bacal I found out about the work of UCL professor Raina Brands, the co-author of this 2017 Harvard Business Review piece on women executives’ response to rejection.

Episode 182: Doing What Matters

“While I can shake my fist in the air and say, I should not have been blocked, or laid off - that was somebody else’s decision. And I decided that I was tired of leaving my life in the hands of others.”

— Lauren Tucker

lauren tucker

Lauren Tucker is a longtime advertising executive and, as a Black female, she's rather unusual in that industry.

The last time we spoke she was finding it tough to land a job in her field in a new city. Today she runs her own successful inclusion management business, Do What Matters, where she grapples with everything from cultural blind spots to terrible job descriptions.

Still, Lauren is itching to find out what's around the corner. Looking back, she sees a career that despite her ambitions was largely controlled by others. Her job's demands influenced what she did with her life. Today, she wants her job to be in service of her life - and her perspective on life has changed quite a bit in the last few turbulent years.

She still has a lot to do.

You can also read a transcript of the show.