Episode 186: Our Obsession with Winning (and how to re-think)

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“Suddenly it was...this is not about having fun, now you need to be a serious athlete. We are here to win. That’s all that matters. ”
— Cath Bishop

Cath with her silver medal at the Athens Olympics

The culture of winning pervades our lives. From sport to the classroom to the workplace, we're supposed to 'kill it' or congratulated for 'crushing it.' But all that crushing can take a toll on the psyche, as Olympic athlete Cath Bishop can attest.

cath bishop

Cath spent years training in her sport, rowing, and competed in three Olympic Games. When she left sport she thought she'd left the obsession with winning behind. Instead she found it was pretty much everywhere.

In this episode we discuss what winning actually means if you want to achieve long-term success (which looks a lot different than what most people think of as 'success.') We talk about the gendered language around winning, and the young female sports stars who are rejecting the winning narrative.

Cath is the author of The Long Win: the search for a better way to succeed.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

And per my teaser in the show, check out the Ask A Harvard Professor podcast - I’d love to have Prof. Claudia Goldin on this show. She was their guest in this episode.

Episode 185: Women Getting Paid

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“He said, ‘Let me stop you right there...you never, ever discount yourself, you never let anybody diminish your worth right before your eyes.’”
— Adrienne Graham

Photo via unsplash

“Step back and think, how am I feeling about this? What am I dreading them saying to me when I ask for this? What do I think they’re going to point out is a reason why I don’t deserve this salary?”
— Natalie Reynolds

In this show we're talking about women getting paid.

Two business owners weigh in on how to charge for your services and how to respond to people who ask if they can 'pick your brain.' We tackle a question from a woman who knows she's paid less than the last man who did her job, but asks if she's happy in her work, how much should she care? And we hear from a negotiation expert on how to use the negative voice in your head - the one that says 'you can't ask for that much!' - to help you get what you want.

This episode distills some findings from past shows. I'm using it as a springboard to more coverage on women and money in 2022. If there’s something you’d like to hear covered, let me know.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Guests today are Adrienne Graham, Kathy Caprino, Jacquette Timmons and Natalie Reynolds.

Adrienne and Kathy originally featured in episode 52, When Women Work for Free. Jacquette was in episode 81, Money vs. Fulfillment, and Natalie Reynolds was the sole guest in episode 128: You’re Worth It - the Power of Negotiation (part 1).

Further reading: How I Came to Believe I Deserved More by Abby West.

The Luxury of Not Putting Money First by Tanzina Vega.

God, Grant Me the Confidence of a Mediocre White Man by Tracey Lynn Lloyd.

These articles are all from TueNight.com, a great site aimed at GenX women - however, I don’t think there’s much exclusively GenX about these three pieces. Check out the rest of their series on women and money here.