Episode 153: Partnership in the Pandemic

“Only half of couples who divide everything up in an...equal way report that their relationship is fair, whereas nearly 100% of those who are doing all the tasks jointly report that their relationship is fair. ”

— Dan Carlson

anna lagerdahl and her family

Last month an article appeared in The Atlantic with the title The Coronavirus is a Disaster for Feminism. One striking line reads, ‘The coronavirus smashes up the bargain that so many dual-earner couples have made in the developed world: We can both work because someone else is looking after our children. Instead, couples will have to decide which one of them takes the hit.’

But is that true?

Kristen elworthy and her husband craig with nick, sienna, and Emilia

In this episode we meet three married women in Canada, the US, and the UK, and one (male) sociologist, Daniel Carlson, who has studied couples and the division of labour in the home.

Kristen Elworthy and Anna Lagerdahl have children and Samantha Murphy doesn’t. Each has found the pandemic has affected her work/life balance in unexpected ways. And it’s not all about housework and childcare - women may be carrying a greater emotional load at this time, which affects many aspects of our lives.

I found out about Dan Carlson’s work through a series of tweets he wrote, giving men some tips on how to help out more at home.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 152: Young Breadwinner

“I knew from the beginning that this was a fun thing to do but it was also a financial thing to do, and that I was helping my family access a better quality of life. And that above all is what made me happy. ”

— Marie

Marie on location for a movie, early 1990s

Having her hair and make up done on set

My guest in this episode started working right around the time most of us started school.

Marie was just five years old when her acting work began supporting her entire family. She loved the work and while she never went to school, by the time she was 15 she was already an experienced professional.

But as she got older she noticed all the best parts were going to the boys, while the roles she was getting relied on her looks. Her dreams of continuing in acting were dashed when she realized what she was expected to do to get better parts.

Today she has a totally different career, but she’ll never forget what show business taught her - about professionalism, teamwork, and sexism.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: The Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film has statistics about the numbers of women today who work in front of the camera and behind it.

The number of female protagonists in movies has gone up quite a lot in recent years. But behind the scenes where the real power lies, men still hold about 80 percent of positions - and that’s a big improvement.

Episode 151: Mary Lou at 94

“I expected to get married...all my friends were getting married...I started taking law courses, but it never occurred to me to stop and become a lawyer - never occurred to me.”

— Mary Lou

Mary lou in october 2019

In this episode we meet a 20th century woman who has bucked convention in more ways than one.

Mary Lou in her 1942 high school yearbook under her nickname, ‘walla’

Mary Lou landed her first job as a telephone operator in 1941, and went on to become a social worker and then a teacher.

Along the way she married, had six children, divorced, and became a (very) independent woman. She’s had a lot of adventures.

Today, at almost 95, she’s settled down with her partner Al and tells me, ‘I’ve had a fantastic life.’

She’s a true broad.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 150: Who Do You Think You Are?

“Do I think I’m an equal worker? I do, I really do. But I think there’s part of me that doesn’t think that…there’s part of me that thinks, Mmm, maybe I should get paid a little less - just a little.”

— Stacey Vanek Smith

Photo by ronstik/iStock / Getty Images

“When you grow up with a man at the head of the household I think that’s a whole different dynamic than women...And so I do think that had a big impact on me. ”

— Denise Barreto

Lack of confidence is a big issue in many women’s careers, including my own.

I’ve seen men around me exude confidence - and land promotions - while my own self-deprecating style and rampant self-doubt have hurt me. But trying to be ‘that guy’ starts the who-do-you-think-you-are? voice inside my head.

In this show we re-visit some concepts I first discussed on the podcast four years ago, and include some reflections that didn’t make it into that show.

My guests are Denise Barreto, a Chicago business owner whose confidence I admire, and NPR reporter and podcast host Stacey Vanek Smith who despite a brilliant career shares a lot of my hangups. She has to psych herself up to ask for things at work, because she's not quite sure she deserves it - but she says you can use that discomfort to your advantage.  

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 149: Forgiveness at Work

“Forgiveness became a survival technique. It became something I came to lean on to be able to focus on what mattered...and not let people’s biases and stereotypes affect me. ”

— Christie Lindor

Over the course of a career a lot of us will have at least one big upset. Whether it’s being unexpectedly let go or being overlooked for a promotion you feel you deserve, stuff happens that leaves us reeling. And for many there are the smaller slights that gradually wear us down, day after day.

In this episode we look at forgiveness as a career tactic. A lot of us stew for weeks or months over these things (or is it just me?). My guest Christie Lindor decided the way to get ahead in her career was to forgive the aggressions - micro and otherwise - she was subject to at the office. She talks about how and why she chose forgiveness as a way forward, and how focusing on what you want to come out of a bad situation can help you deal with hurt, anger, and resentment.

Christie Lindor

You can also read a transcript of the show.

This is the last new episode you'll hear for a while as The Broad Experience goes on hiatus for a few months.

Further reading: Christie Lindor is the author most recently of Release - Use the Power of Forgiveness to Get Unstuck and Thrive in Your Career.

Episode 148: So Many Incompetent Leaders

“The argument I made was, instead of blaming women for not leaning in, how about we stop falling for people, usually men, who lean in when they don’t have the talents to back it up?”

— Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

Photo by FreedomMaster/iStock / Getty Images

Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

Most leaders in business and politics are male, and most of us rate our leaders poorly.

Would that change if more leaders were women?

In this show I sit down with psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, author of Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? We discuss confidence versus competence, learning to distrust our instincts about who is leadership material, and how bad leadership can drive a lot of us out of a job. Voluntarily.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading:

Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic originally wrote about male and female leadership in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article with the same title as his book.